Posted 2:49 PM by ill
Oddly enough I truly am illbill

So I'm sick... Not the I don't feel like going to work kind of sick but really sick. Congestion cough the whole nine yards. It sucks. I wish there was a more eloquent way to put it but quite frankly there isn't. It just plain sucks. I've come to the conclusion that I may be spending far too much time at my favorite brewpub. Don't get me wrong I really love these folks and they truly have become an extended part of my family, but... when you receive more calls from the bar you hang out at then your relatives to inquire about your health, you may be spending too much time at the pub. Either that or my relatives care less about my health then the staff at the pub.

Anywho... In my time off from work I got to take in the bulk of daytime TV. In-between nose blowing and coughing I was able to see why so many unemployed people find it so hard to obtain another job. It all has to do with daytime TV. This stuff is so mind numbingly absurd and stupid that you can't help but lose a few hundred brain cells with every decision Judge Joe Brown or Judy dish out. By the time you have spent the last few weeks sitting on the couch watching as girlfriend transvestite hookers confess to their boyfriends shocking sex secrets you begin to fall in to a void where this stuff quits seeming silly and starts making sense. This is a frightening place to be, for unfortunately, you don't know you're there until you wind up on Springer in your wife or girlfriends underwear telling everyone you wish to be called Loretta. No wonder so many people are collecting disability. With this barrage of lunacy pounding you over the head day in and day out you can't help but walk away with brain damage. There's no way you can go back to work. You're simply just not qualified to do anything. Flipping burgers becomes a challenge (I must admit I flipped burgers as one of my earliest jobs and I will say there is an art to it. At least there was until everything started coming pre packaged or cooked in those big automated clam shell grills) as does basic personal hygiene. I could honestly feel what little intelligence I had left being sucked out of my head like some kind of bastard Hoover vacuum determined to make me a lifeless lump of boot camp teens and paternity test sludge... So needless to say with the fever reduced I packed up my things and headed off to work where at least there I'm not as aware of the effect it is having on my brain. At least there I don't realize it's making me stupider...