Posted 9:36 AM by ill
"Don't let him cheapen the moment..."

I looked over at Dave as he massaged the chest of a bartender/stripper/prostitute at the Bannabaren. Jens had slowly moved in to get a better view of the girl on the bar.
"We have a history you just ignore him"

I wondered how Dave's American wit was working on the dancer. I wonder if sarcasm translates well in to Dutch culture... than again she was a girl who had just launched a vibrator 15fett in the air with her vagina. Maybe she didn't care.

One hour earlier
The bachelor party took an interesting turn. We were waiting in line to get in to the Bananabaren as the two hookers I had lined up to put on a shoe for us were unable to come together so to speak. Seems they weren't allowed in to Nick's room, as there were no guests allowed upstairs. We had to nix the idea or shell out another 400Euro for a hotel room that was recommended by the escort service. This just smacked of a raw deal and thinking better (for once in this town) we decided to just let the crazy shit that goes on in this town entertain us instead.

So when we finally make it to the Banabaren the doorman explains that it will be at least an hour before he can let anyone in. To make it up to us he will give us admission to La Casa Rosso for 10Euro more and then we can come back and get our time with the banana girls when the place clears out. So we all pay the 50Euro and proceed to be led down to La Casa Rosso for free drinks and live sex shows (more on that later). We get marched in to a special section where we wait for around 20mins as people get led in to the sax show and we continue to wait behind the velvet rope that is held together by giant brass peni (penis's??) when it begins to dawn on us... we've just been ripped off. So in true American fashion I inquired with the doorman when we would be allowed in...
Looking over me (rather disdainfully I might add) he replied "1:10AM.
"But it's not even eleven"
Again "1:10" only this time he let more people in to show me that he was truly in charge of who got to see stilted people in mechanical motion have half-hearted sex with each other.
That was it. I was pissed. Fortunately I had four Danes with me... They were pissed too. We began to walk our way out of line going on about demanding our money back when suddenly some strange guy comes from the back hands us our tickets and lets us in. It was all very weird.

Live Sex Show
or...
These people are getting laid all the time and they just don't enjoy it.

If you ever wonder what two people having sex on stage looks like... don't. All you need to do is take a look around where you work. Hear the little conversations going on between co-workers? See the look of work boredom on their face? Now. Picture them having sex with each other while all of this is going on. That is a live sex show. No emotion, no surprises, just... work. I use to think that might not be sucha bad job... then after seeing it... I realized... It's just that, a job.

Sad. A childhood fantasy lost forever.

Wrap your arms around a Danish

Danes touch each other more than most heterosexual American men are comfortable with. I wasn't really sure at first if perhaps they were just so confident in their own sexuality and lot in life (trust me Danes love themselves. A lot) they could be very open like that... or Denmark is creating the first bi-sexual nation. Naaah... gotta be the vanity thing. Chicks dig the Danish... and more importantly the Danish dig the Danish... so it all works out.