Posted 10:25 AM by ill
And so it begins...

Today is the day... Diagnosis day if you will. Today they tell me just how screwed up I am and what we can do about it. I'm talking about my MS not the mental condition here. Today I get to findout if I will suffer anywhere from one shot a week up to five a day... it just all depends I guess. Of course I don't know what is in store and speculation certainly isn't going to do me any good. After all I'm not a doctor... I just play one on the internet. So... this is not my typical rant or rave or witty post. Just a quick heads up I guess. I'll fill everyone in on the prognosis when I know more...

ill (ironic dontcha think... that I chose illbill all those years ago...oh IRONY sweet sweet I-RON-EEEE!)

Posted 9:10 AM by ill
Of Harry Potter, Shrek, and sheep...

You know what I hate? Harry Potter. There I said it. It seems I may be the only one willing to say it actually. I'm not sure if people are scared to say that this piece of pop culture trash stinks for fear of being ostracized for not following the masses or what. But the simple fact of the matter is this is not quality work. Not by a long shot. Sure, sure, sure. The nay Sayers will say things like "But Harry Potter got kids reading!!!"

Well woopty freakin do.

You know what else can get kids reading? Books. Books and taking the time to get your children to enjoy reading instead of plopping them in front of the TV "babysitter" so they can watch the latest Disney DVD or play the latest Playstation game.

Why this animosity towards Harry, ill? Have you even read the books?

I'd like to address these questions.

Other than the fact that Harry Potter was pretty well a blatant rip-off of Neil Gaiman's Books of Magic (which I won't get into here as the topic has been beaten to death), the books are just plain poorly written. My wife will be horrified by the following confession but here goes.

When the Harry Hub-bub kicked into gear a few years ago I borrowed the first book from a co-worker to give it a read. I was ashamed to take it home as I knew the Mrs. would chide me to no end for giving it a read so I kept in my desk at work and read it during lunch breaks... Well that's not entirely true, I tried to read it during lunch breaks... I just couldn't get through it. It was horrible and coming from a guy who reads comic books that's saying a lot. I couldn't make it through it. It was just so.. so... bad. Poorly written, one-dimensional characters, serious lack of a plot beyond a simple "mystery" genre and most of all... boring. So why, I asked myself, were all these people flocking to it as if it was the second coming of the Messiah? What was I missing? Why didn't I get it? Then it occurred to me... This is the same society that made a best seller out of John Grisham and Anne Rice. People don't want literature. They want easy to digest surface level drivel. If a few jump on the bandwagon then the rest can be herded in like sheep. Even if they hate what they read they will never admit it. Nobody wants to be kicked out of the "Hogwarts Appreciation Society."

After the first movie came out and was a smashing success, I began to think "Ok, it is a children’s book. Maybe I should try to give it a read through the eyes of a child... say 10-12 years of age. I can do that. Heck most of the people that no me will tell you I think that way anyway.

So I sat down to give it another try and you know what? It's still crap. I would have been insulted had my parents gave me this as a present.

What happened to literature? What happened to books that inspired and led children down the wondrous path of true imagination? Where is the Chronicles of Narnia? Where is Treasure Island? For goodness sakes people WHERE IS FREAKIN' 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA!?!?!?! Put one of those up to Harry Potter... tell me if you think people will be reading this crap in a hundred years. Better yet, I'll go ahead and answer that for ya. No. They won't. Art it ain't. Fine literature it ain't. Marketed well? Well now, that's a different story....

Speaking of marketing well... Have you seen Shrek 2 is out? I bet you have. As a matter of fact you can't swing a cat without hitting a Shrek 2 marketing tie in. Not only can you clean up with Shrek 2 bath and body liquid soap, but you can buy him on all your favorite food stuffs. Check out this little gem:

DreamWorks unveiled its promotional and licensing program for "Shrek 2" -- the studio's biggest merchandising campaign ever -- with Burger King, Pepsi, General Mills, Baskin-Robbins, Dial Corp., Masterfoods' M&M's, Hewlett-Packard, Hasbro, Activision and the U.S. Postal Service among its biggest partners.

The US FREAKIN POST OFFICE!!!! They can't even get mail here on time but by GOD we can have cute little tie-ins with imaginary animated creatures. Hey how about we quit paying for licenses and maybe HIRE A FEW MORE FREAKIN PEOPLE TO WORK THE COUNTER WHEN WE NEED STAMPS ON OUR LUNCH BREAKS!!!

I just don't get it... I just don't get it at all really. I'm bothered by the fact we follow so blindly after this junk and then sit around wondering why the next generation of Americans are getting dumber and dumber by the minute.

Well in the words of Maynard James Keenan...
"Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
what you need is someone strong to guide you..."