Posted 2:42 PM by ill
I now know why justice is blind

Every now and then I come across something, or someone sends something to me that leaves even me almost speechless. Take this for instance. Go ahead, give it a read. I'll be here when you have finished.

Done?

Good, let's get started shall we? I'm not going to mince words here. I truly do not understand at what point in this judge's career that he thought this to himself and said "Hey now there's an idea. If I bring my penis pump and razor to work I can shave off (no pun intended) at least thirty minutes on my morning commute to work!"

Ok, we may never know the answer to that one. But here is one part that really gets me... How did he pleasure himself in front of all these people? I mean doesn't he make any noise? Doesn't he at least make a face? For goodness sakes doesn't he at least have a small spasm at the moment of... well... you know? How can you hide this sort of thing? Where did the "stuff" go? Was he using a hanky or just leaving it there for the cleaning crew... (ewwwww)

And this shaving business. I can only assume this had to have been a dry shave. No shaving cream or anything. I don't know about anybody else but I'm not dry shaving my nether regions. You know the kind of razor burn that could cause? Do you have any idea of the chafing????

The penis pump thing just kills me... I was going to go on and on about it but I think this quote does more than I could ever say:

Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up."

All rise, (swoosh) (swoosh) (swoosh) court is now(swoosh) (swoosh) (swoosh) in session. (swoosh)(swoosh)